Tuesday, January 28, 2014

"Are you a Pinterest Mom?"

The question was posed to me by a Mom I'd never met before while we pushed our kids on the swings at the park a few weeks ago.  She was talking about her daughter's upcoming birthday and all the sudden turned to me and asked: "...are you a Pinterest Mom?" I wasn't quite sure how to answer because I didn't know exactly what a Pinterest Mom was.

If I'm being completely honest, my first thought was "no", because I imagined a Pinterest Mom probably looked a little something like this while cooking breakfast for the family:
Source: allposters.com
And most days I look like a little more like this when we "cook" breakfast:


However, I do have a Pinterest account and I'm a Mom, so maybe that's all she meant.  I listened for context clues to see if she thought it was a good thing or bad thing to be, but as I pushed the stroller back up the hill towards our house I still wasn't sure exactly what made one a Pinterest Mom and whether or not I wanted to be one.  I consulted the good folks of the interweb, but they didn't seem very decided either.  Half of the links were to proud moms who seemed to be finding inspiring ideas for their fun, organized homes and the other half of the links took me to articles with headlines like this:

Source: today.com
I decided then and there that I would conduct a little experiment to find out for myself if being a Pinterest Mom was something I would enjoy.

But before I could begin any of that I had to remember my login and password.


Once I was finally in, a quick check of my stats told me I had five boards with three pins - all on the same board and all photos of enormous libraries that I must have pinned the day I created my account.  I had somehow accumulated 185 followers (sorry guys) and I also learned that in the last few years the fine people of Pinterest finally realized secret boards were a good idea.  This reminded me why I probably never logged back in to pin anything after that initial sign up.  If I was stealing an idea for a cute Christmas card photo, why would I want to show everyone the shot before my boys were in it?  Hats off to whoever figured that one out.

I resolved to plan out an entire day of Pinterest meals and activities for me and the boys.  I created a new board called "Pinterest Mom" and started looking for entertaining and easy things to do.  I don't sew, saw or sift flour so "easy" was the key word here.  With my board securely pinned in place, I promised myself to take a moment at the end of the day to evaluate whether I felt energized or exhausted and use that to determine whether I'm truly Pinterest Mom material or not.

Welcome to my day of Pinsanity:

8:30am - Rainbow Pancake Breakfast:
Noah was super excited about these because I showed him the photo the night before.  He was excited when he woke me up asking for them and excited while he helped me make them and then almost giddy when he saw them piled beautifully on the plate.  The excitement lasted right up until he started eating them.  He picked the red one (pink really) and ate about four bites.  Benny ate slightly more than Noah, but we ended up dumping half of our rainbow down the garbage disposal.  I tested them and they tasted like pancakes, but apparently my kids are not huge pancake fans.

Pinspiration
Our Attempt
Takeaway:  If your kid likes pancakes, save yourself the extra dishes and mixing by making ONE colorful pancake.

9:00am - Cereal Necklace:
Anyone who knows Noah knows he loves accessories.  He had fun separating all the different colored Cheerios into different bowls.  I helped him string them all on and then he did a dance with them.  About ten minutes later he had eaten half the necklace.

Pinspiration
Our Attempt
Takeaway: Scratch the pancakes altogether and give them the necklace for breakfast with a glass a milk.

10:00am - Handprint Valentines:
I love handprint projects - reindeers, Christmas trees, butterflies - you name it, they're all over the house.  Noah loves smashing his hands in paint and this always seems like an easy way to contain the mess.  I bought little cards, but his hands didn't fit (future baller? pianist?) so we decided to make some giant Valentines for grandparents.


Pinspiration
Our Attempt
Takeaway: Measure hands on paper before you dip so you're not running around the house searching for white paper while your toddler's hands are covered with red paint.

10:30am - Kisses (and Photos):
I bought bright red lipstick this summer, but I've only worn it once because although I felt really sexy when I left the house, when I checked the mirror at the restaurant I saw this:

Source: International Clown Hall of Fame via AP
For these photos I slathered it on and kissed all over the boys, hoping to get a shot of them together.  That plan didn't work so well... but when I popped them in the tub afterwards I got this shot of Benny, which made it all worth it.

Pinspiration
Our Attempt
Takeaway: Super long-lasting all-day lipwear lasts longer on kids cheeks.  There were still little red patches on their cheeks after two baths when I kissed them goodnight.

12pm - Under the Sea Lunch:
I know I'm probably not looking like the healthiest Mom at this point, but when I was little I had a friend whose Mom used to make us hot dog octopuses for lunch, so I think this pin made me nostalgic.  I got a little carried away with the "seaweed" and "bubbles".  Noah thought it was pretty funny.  He also realized my octopuses didn't have enough legs.

Pinspiration
Our Attempt
Takeaway: If you're going to eat a hot dog outside of a ball park, it's way more fun to eat a "quadropus".

5pm - Flubber-Making
We had to wait until Benjamin went down for his nap to make this one.  It's super easy, and only three ingredients, but I don't really know what Borax is - the final ingredient - so I figured we'd keep the 10-month-old out of the picture.  Noah thought it was gross...which also translates to awesome.

Pinspiration
Our Attempt
Takeaway: Make this... and if you figure out if Borax is safe (to touch, ingest etc), message me.

So Am I?
I had pinned a dinner, but around six o'clock I texted Ryan and told him to pick a restaurant to meet us at after work.  My sister called a few minutes later and asked: "So what did you discover? Are you a Pinterest Mom?".  I took a moment to think about it and replied: "I might be, but I'm not sure I have Pinterest kids and this is too exhausting to do for myself". 

The boys and I had enjoyed a wonderful day, but as we cleaned up the flubber and washed Noah's hands, I crouched down to dry them and asked him what his favorite thing we did that day was.  His reply: "digging for butterflies" in the backyard - the only activity I hadn't planned.  He's not a color-inside-the-lines kind of kid.  It might be his age, but I don't think he'll ever appreciate a day's worth of pins.  So while I'll probably continue to use Pinterest as a crafty version of Google when we spill our last bottle of bubbles and need a homemade version, I don't think my empty boards will ever be filled with recipes and crafts.  My collection of library photos might grow, but for now I think my time pinning would be better spent figuring out why someone is planting butterflies in our soil.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Dear Diary

While I was cleaning out my closets last week I came across this stack of diaries...



Back in junior high and high school I was pretty diligent about recording every. single. detail. of my day in these little notepads.  While Ryan was playing basketball on Wednesday night I spent the evening reliving my days as a Riverview Pirate and, honestly, it was a little eye opening.  I tend to remember these years only as fun and carefree, but as I read back through my words I was struck by the number of pages that felt sad, lonely and misunderstood.  I know diaries are a bit like therapists in that we tend to pour out our hearts when times get tough, but I'm pretty sure that re-reading these will help me be a little more understanding next time I get caught in an elevator with some loud, obnoxious girls at the mall, find myself next to an awkward teen couple at the theater or most importantly, when my own boys reach adolescence.

I'm double the age I was when I wrote the majority of these entries, so when I got to the end of my last diary and found I had a few pages left, I decided I would offer up a little "Back to the Future" advice for my 15-year-old self:

Being a teenager is hard...
for everyone.  It doesn't matter if you're pretty, zitty, tall, small, athletic or pathetic at sports.  Anyone that doesn't admit to having really tough days as a teen is either lying - or is Beyonce (but she was home-schooled, so that doesn't count).  Take comfort in knowing that although the issues may vary, all of your peers are dealing with their own.


Do you think Solange voted for Beyonce to get the "best-dressed" award?

There are lots of guys (or girls) in the world...
that don't go to your high school.  3.4 billion to be exact(ish).  So while I know it might feel like your world is falling apart because x asked y to prom instead of u, believe it or not there is a very good chance you will have forgotten entirely about x after your first year month week day of college.  You will come to learn that although some high school sweethearts do live happily ever after, it's the exception, not the rule.  Enjoy flirting and dances and going on dates, but in your case, Prince Charming doesn't show up until after college so don't lose too much sleep about guys just yet.


I think my entire graduating class may have fit under those Pepsi umbrellas in the bottom left corner.

Your Mom loves you... 
even though it might feel like she is nosy and difficult and stricter than all the other moms.  I know you think she is listening in on some of your phone calls (she is) and that you're convinced she doesn't like the older "bad boy" you're crushing on (she doesn't) - but it's all because she loves you and doesn't want to see you get hurt.  At some point during college, when you're 1,300+ miles from home, she'll become your best friend.  Then, one day when you have your own kids you'll finally get a glimpse into what a mother's love really means and you'll start to understand why it's okay that you're the only one that's not allowed to hang out at the Ramada Inn after prom (you're not) and why your curfew is way earlier than everyone else's (just enjoy your sleep while you can).

"Dani, nothing good happens at the Ramada Inn."


You will not remember which games you won and lost...
but you will never forget what it felt like to be a part of team and to push your body to the point of absolute exhaustion.  Put every ounce of energy you have into your game or race, but know that one day soon you'll have a hard time remembering who won the championship, let alone each game.  What you will recall is your Dad showing up early with a giant hug and the game shoes you forgot by the back door - or mouth guard or sports bra or (insert additional forgotten gear here).  Same goes for those early, chilly sunrises you are treated to as you row, half-asleep, up the Detroit River with one of your dearest friends from childhood.  Cherish those practices because you won't remember who crossed the finish line first on race day.


How's that for a shot of Detroit?

When something doesn't feel right, speak up...
again and again and again until someone is able to help you.  In your case, it will be a giant, basketball-sized cyst in your abdomen that won't be diagnosed until the end of your junior year.  You already know something isn't right, because you write about it every ten pages, so don't feel bad speaking up to the doctor, even if she says you look healthy.  Ask if there are other tests they can run and give them a list of all the dates that you have woken up puking your guts out and reeling in pain. Be a drama queen.  You're good at that.
*This doesn't just go for physical ailments either.  If you know someone that is depressed or being bullied or abused, tell someone (and keep telling people you trust until the right person steps in).  

Poloroid proof that the hospital sent a creepy Teletubby to wish me well on my surgery.


You will not...

Whatever happened to YM and those "Say Anything" columns?  

and that is a very good thing.  Because not only are you unfit for the the task of looking as put together as Kate Middleton does every time she leaves her castle, but if you spend all of your free time hanging out at polo matches and balls, you might miss out on the opportunity to scoop up this hunk of burning love who is currently busy wreaking havoc in the red rocks of St. George, Utah:
Sorry Ry, couldn't resist this photo.

Not only will find him to be about a million times hotter than Wills, but he will also become an incredible husband, father and best friend - who happens to have parents that are way cooler than Charles and Priscilla.

Your super secret system worked...
even on you.  When you took your most private thoughts and sealed them up in an envelope and signed your name on the seal you ensured that no one would read your innermost thoughts without you knowing.  I'm pretty sure someone has snooped through your diaries at some point (you have two sisters), but these remain untouched.  And at least for the time being, your secrets are still safe with me.


Maybe I'll be ready for you in another 15 years.




Sunday, January 5, 2014

No Buyer's Remorse

No Buyer's Remorse

In a week that I've spent cleaning out closets and drawers to help de-clutter and simplify life for the coming year, I couldn't help but stop and think about a few items I've added to the mix in 2013 that have made my days just a little bit brighter.  

Benjamin offered to model the items (actually he just skipped his nap so I turned him into a Baby Vanna White).  

Without further adieu, here you have it, in no particular order, with no real rhyme or reason - my favorite purchases of 2013 that will definitely not end up in a giant plastic bag on the curb or at a donation center: 

This Avocado Slicer...




My husband, Ryan, found this thing when I had dragged him to Crate and Barrel to look at something much less exciting earlier this year.  I ignored it in the drawer for a few months, while he raved about it, but then finally gave in.  Now I buy one for everyone I know.  It cost less than ten dollars and it has eliminated my fear (and the very real possibility) that I might lose a finger every time I want an avocado.

http://www.crateandbarrel.com/oxo3-in-1-avocado-tool/s553964

These Toms Wedge Boots...




My little sister moved to Denver in June (hooray!) and bought some Toms wedge boots shortly after her move.  I had always admired what Tom does for people without shoes*, it's just that I haven't always admired the style of the fifty dollar plus shoes he sells to those of us who don't need them.  That is until I saw my much trendier younger sister wearing these.  I bought the black ones and when worn with skinny black jeans they can provide the wonderful illusion that you've lost all of your baby weight long before that becomes reality.

http://www.toms.com/womens/shoes/wedges/c?view=all

*he gives them shoes (http://www.toms.com/media/TOMS_Giving_Report_2013.pdf)

My First John Green Books...



I watched my brother pull an all-nighter reading John Green books when we were all up at my parent's lake house in northern Michigan over the 4th of July last year. His interest didn't immediately sell me because he has also been know to buy books about optics and programming and is studying electrical engineering at The University of Michigan.  I have tended to fall on the other end of the numbers spectrum - the type who showed up for Calculus office hours every single week my freshman year to make sure my professor would feel bad enough not to fail me in the only college math class I had to take.  But we have both loved these stories.  Green's first book came out back in 2006 so I'm admittedly a little late to the game, but 'The Fault In Our Stars' hits the silver screen this summer, so if you haven't read any of his books or checked out the YouTube videos he posts with his brother, do yourself a favor and get acquainted with Mr. Green.

http://johngreenbooks.com/

Another White Noise Machine...




It's not nearly as cute as the ones you can find at the baby store, but these suckers work and they're fairly indestructible. I bought one for Noah when he was born and it was great for drowning out noise when we were still in an apartment.  It still works great after being dragged all over the country in a suitcase, dropped a few times and probably swung by the cord (I haven't seen this, I'm just assuming).  I bought another one when we had Benjamin in March and I don't think we would have survived the newborn stage without its beautiful static keeping one child peacefully asleep while the other howls at the top of his lungs.  They work for adults too!

http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-Dohm-DS-Speed-Sound-Conditioner/dp/B000KUHFGM

Runners Up in the Baby Category...

Triple Paste: http://www.triplepaste.com/

Bravado Nursing Bra: http://www.bravadodesigns.com/shop/the-body-silk-seamless-nursing-bra
(I knew Benny would never forgive me if I made him model this)

So what about you?  Any favorites to add to the list?  You don't have to take a photo of your purchase with a child - but it would be awesome if you did.